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The Please Police
by
Stuart Baum |
It was a Saturday morning. The little girl woke up early to watch cartoons. After a little while, her mother came into the television room and asked her if she wanted pancakes for breakfast. The little girl simply nodded. Soon, her mother came back in the room and put down a steaming plate of pancakes, a bottle of syrup, a fork and a napkin.
"Drink," said the little girl.
"In a second," said her mother, as she left the room. Maybe the mother was sleepy that Saturday morning. Maybe the little girl was caught up in the cartoon. But either way, the little girl had done something wrong and her mother did not correct her.
As soon as the mother set down the glass of orange juice, the siren started. It was very soft at first. Weee-yeee-yeeee.
The little girl watched her cartoon carefully to see if the siren was coming from the television. It wasn't. The siren got a little louder. Weee-Yeeee-Yeee.
The little girl listened as the siren got closer and closer, louder and louder. Weeee-yeeee! WEE-eeee- YEE-eeee!
The little girl looked out of the window to watch the police car or fire truck or ambulance go by. But even though the siren got closer and closer - WEeEe-YEeEe! WEeEe-FEeEe! - she didn't see anything coming up the street.
It sounded as though the siren were right on top of her and yet she still saw nothing in the street. WEEEE-YEEEEE! WEEEE-YEEEE!
She heard a squeal of tyres and when she turned around she saw a tiny blue-and-white car, about the size of a small toy box, pull up right behind her. |
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A man, dressed in what looked like a police outfit, stepped out of the car. He was the size of a Barbie Doll or an Action Man.
"Please put your hands where I can see them!" he said in a squeaky voice.
The little girl looked at her hands, then, confused, showed her hands to the little man. Finally, she asked, "Who are you?"
"I'm a Please Officer, part of the Please Patrol. Whenever a child forgets to say 'please,' it's our job to see that they are punished."
"Punished?" asked the little girl.
"I'm afraid so," said the Please Officer. "Please drop and give me ten."
"Ten push-ups?" asked the girl.
"No. Ten pleases."
The little girl shrugged, sat on the carpet and, counting each one out on here fingers, said, "Please, please, please, please, please. Please, please, please, please, please."
"Now," said the Please Officer, "please tell me what you say when you want something?" |
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"Please," said the little girl.
"That's precisely right," said the Please Officer.
"But why?" asked the little girl.
"Why what?" asked the Please Officer.
"Why do I have to say 'Please' for something like orange juice. I don't even really like orange juice."
The Please Officer didn't even blink before answering. "It's not for you. It's for the person who gets you something. Because it was nice of your mother to get you the orange juice. And if you want her to get you more things in the future, you should be as polite as possible."
The little girl hung her head. "I'm sorry," she said softly.
"Don't tell me," said the Please Officer. "I'm just doing my job." With that, the Please Officer jumped back into the tiny Please Car and sped away.
The little girl finished her pancakes and orange juice and took her plate and glass into the kitchen where her mother was reading the paper.
"Mummy," said the little girl.
"Yes dear?"
"Thanks for the pancakes and the orange juice. Can I pleeeeeeeaaaaasssse have some more?"
And to this day, the Please Police have never had to visit that little girl's house again.
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